I had hoped for a long time that I would never have need for a post like this. Unfortunately, hopes only get you so far in life. I have avoided “the Janette issue” for some time, but in view of recent events, punctuated by this comment, I believe I must respond. I will make two promises to you in this post. First, I will be honest. Second, I will handle myself with as much maturity as possible. I present the post in a Question and Answer format because that is the way concerns have been presented to me, therefore it makes the most sense to use it. Do note that the remainder of this post is quite long and directly relates to drama. If you would like to turn back now, you are free to do so.
1) Were you ever romantically involved with Janette?
Yes, I did have romantic interest in her in late 2007 and early 2008. I never went out on a personal date with her but I have been over to her house once, amongst friends. I also spent all of Anime Punch 2008 with her. The relationship did not work out for several reasons that are frankly none of your business, and I would appreciate it if you did not try to pry. We remained friends until around Matsuricon of 2008. Following that, we had a blog-related dispute, and in the aftermath, I cut most ties with her outside of a professional nature.
2) Did you join Borderline Hikikomori to win her back?
No. I will admit that I found out that CJ was looking for writers from her, when she linked me to the blog in an IM conversation. However, I joined for my own personal reasons. I thought it would be something new and fun to try, and that it would give me something to pass the time when I had nothing else to do.
3) Why did you quit/stagnate in writing then?
What can I say? I burned out quickly. I picked two series that ended up leaving me nothing to write about. Oinari-sama sucked so hard that I could not bear to watch it anymore, and Himitsu had such an irregular release schedule that I could not follow it. From there, it was a long time until the next season, and though I started trying to write again, I just never got back into it. I could attribute some of that to that time being a transitional period, where I started to have many new experiences in quick succession. Despite that, I never lost touch with CJ.
4) Why did she leave? / Why did you kick her out?
Really, the best way to put it is it came down to management of the blog. CJ and Janette had a discussion over a blog feature we were going to do, and unfortunately, it escalated quickly. Words were said behind closed doors that never should have been exchanged via IM, text, e-mail, and phone. This included Janette calling CJ’s cell phone 29 times in a 2-hour period. This eventually culminated in Janette posting about internal blog problems publicly on Twitter, after which CJ told her to cease and desist from airing our dirty laundry, as it were. She then proceeded to make a post on this blog, which we deleted – not to prevent readers from finding her new blog, but because it was made in bad taste. Consider that one of the tags on the post read, “I hate you,” which I found in our tag cloud during my Reorganization Project. You can decide whether telling your boss that you hate him or her is a notice of quitting or a reason for firing for yourselves. Beyond that, again, the ordeal happened behind closed doors and thus I will not post any more than that.
5) Have you ever attacked her or her blog over this matter?
Yes, on exactly two occasions. The first occurred when she made a public post about the situation on her own blog. She deleted that comment and started a rather long and drawn out private message chain on Facebook with me. Once again, emotions ran high and we exchanged many words behind closed doors, and I will not make that public. The second time occurred on a mutual friend’s wall on Facebook, where she again publicly brought up the blog drama. I realize that I should have just let it slide; however, I publicly confronted her about it on that same wall. I have not attacked her in any way since the Facebook wall incident. In addition, it must be noted that on both occasions I did things in a domain in which I had no control. I have never used this blog, my twitter, my LiveJournal, my Facebook, or any other means under my direct control to attack her. Whether or not this post constitutes “attack”, I leave up to you to decide.
6) Have you ever seen the emails, logs, or texts CJ has in her possession?
No, I have not. I also feel it is better that I never personally see them. I realize I have claimed to in the past. An aspect of battling with information is that as a rule, you never know who knows what until an exchange actually occurs. Thus, it does not matter if I have access to information, as long as it appears I have it. It is a simple tactic used to bluff your way into acquiring information or getting a look into the mindset of the other person. In the end, it failed at the former but succeeded at the latter. That is all there is to it.
7) Has she ever attacked you or your blog over this matter?
Indeed, she has, on several occasions. Besides the farewell post, she has made several comments on this very blog encouraging trolling and attempting to flame us. We have deleted them or marked them as spam, but screenshots persist forever. She has made numerous posts on Twitter about us, which have come to my attention through various means. I have seen disparaging comments on blogs that I read, some of which the authors have deleted. CJ has also told me of harassing text messages she has received in the aftermath. I cannot speak for the contents of her Facebook or LiveJournal and will not speculate on the matter.
8) Do you stalk her or any of her outlets?
No, I do not. Of course, it would be foolhardy of me to say that I have no knowledge of their existence. On the occasion that someone notifies me of a posting relevant to this blog or me, I do check the source to verify information. Beyond that, I do not read anything that she writes. In fact, when it came to my attention that my accounts were still following her on sites such as LiveJournal, deviantArt, and Myspace, I removed those network links of my own volition, even though some of have sat unused for quite some time.
9a) But you are blogging the same series as her!
If you really want to use that as evidence of stalking, you have about 50 other blogs to suspect as well. That said, I will tell you my reasons for selecting my series during the Winter season. I have documented my love for school comedies quite well on this blog, so Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu was both my natural and first choice. I also stated that I had interest in Sora no Woto, since it is the first of an ambitious project to make anime with no source material. When no one picked it up by the end of the first week, I grabbed it myself. Finally, I selected Katanagatari because I felt I could devote the time to a series that only airs once a month and I enjoyed the storytelling and verbal play.
9b) But you read and comment on the same blogs as her!
Again, you have many other people to hit up if you want to use this line of reasoning. Reading other blogs is a necessary component of existing in the aniblogosphere, and one that I neglected entirely until this year. The first blog I started reading was Bokutachi no Blog, which you can find in our blogroll. I found them because I did not know about Chartfag at the time (shock and awe, I know) and needed a list of series for the Winter 2010 post. From there, I have slowly branched out to other blogs by clicking random links on blogrolls and checking the personal sites of frequent commenters. Additionally, there are a few blogs out there that have us linked, and when I notice those incoming clicks, I naturally check out their blog. I read blogs because I enjoy what is written and I comment to show my appreciation and facilitate discussion.
9c) But you stole her blog design!
*sigh* Okay, this is in reference to my Hiiragi avatar, and CJ’s Anri avatar. About two months ago, I joined Speed Demos Archive. After a while, I decided to get an avatar for the site, and I did not want to use the same one I had displayed everywhere for the last half year. I was watching Hanamaru Kindergarten and I saw her in Detective Conan cosplay. My favorite character in the series is Hiiragi, and I thought it was adorable, so I captured it and made it my avatar. Then I decided to spread that to other places, because as I mentioned, I had used the same one for half a year. When CJ saw mine, she decided she wanted an Anri avatar and capped her own. That is all there is to it.
10) So, what brought you back into writing?
It is no secret, Janette accounted for many posts in 2009. I actually did the math out of curiosity. She made or contributed to 150 posts constituting 62.5% of the blog in the span of a year. By comparison, I contributed a paltry 10.8% of posts. When faced with statistics like that, the only options are to step up and fill the void, or just let it roll over and die. I decided upon the former course of action. I launched into my Redesign Project which still steadily continues today, started participating more in the aniblogging community, and rediscovered a passion for writing. I also find writing to be a cathartic release in some ways.
11) Do you have a goal of wiping her out of the aniblogosphere?
I suppose that might fix many problems. However, the answer is no. I do not care about her. I do not care about her blog. If she enjoys writing and people enjoy reading her writing, then more power to her. It is always good to have more voices in the aniblogisphere. I do not care who her friends are. If people want to be friends with her, I have absolutely no issue with it. I know not all of my friends get along, some of them even hate each other, but it does not stop me from being friends with them. The only thing I have ever wanted is for the public harassment to stop.
12) What, then, is the purpose of this post?
Frankly, I made it to present my side of the issue. I ignored it for a long time, but as events continue, I no longer feel that I am able to do so, nor that ignoring it is in my best interests. Yes, I have handled some things poorly, and I have done things of which I am not proud. I freely admit that. Even so, I feel that I at least take some aspect out of every mistake that I can use to make myself a better person and I hope it allows me to avoid further mistakes in the future. I hope you have all approached this posting with an open mind. Whether your view of me changes is entirely up to you, for better or worse. I respect any decisions or comments you might have. I hope this is the first and last time I will ever have to address this topic. Thank you for reading, and good day.